Live Blogging last night’s 2007 NBA Draft I stated that Bill Simmons would be pissed about his beloved Celtics trading the #5 pick, Delonte West and Wally Szczerbiak to the SuperSonics for Ray Allen and the #35 pick.

Here are the comments Simmons had dedicated specifically to the Celtics-Sonics trade in his ‘Draft Diary XI’ column this morning.

Thanks to rumors that the Celtics might trade the No. 5 pick, Wally Szczerbiak and Delonte West for a soon-to-be 32-year-old shooting guard coming off double ankle surgeries (Ray Allen), I just spent the last 20 minutes on basketball-reference.com trying to find one great shooting guard who didn’t decline significantly in Years 12 through 14 of his NBA career. Here’s the list: Reggie Miller. That’s it. Also, I just threw up in my mouth and some of it went up the back of my nose.

Funny shot of 12 employees in Portland’s draft room realizing they were being shown on TV, then inexplicably standing up and applauding happily. It’s just like I feel about the rumored Ray Allen trade, only the exact opposite.

Andy Katz reports that Boston agreed to deal the No. 5 pick, Szczerbiak and West for Allen. Not even 10 seconds later, the Sonics take Kevin Durant … the guy I’d been rooting for the Celtics to get since December.

(Hold on, I’m picking my jaw off the ground.)

Unless there’s another major move coming — and Lord, let’s hope so — are we really contending for the title in 2008 or 2009 with Pierce, Jefferson, Allen, Doc Rivers and nine unproven young guys? Are we even winning 47 games? Three seasons from now, if you’re watching Doc and Danny Ainge announcing the same TNT game, then you flick channels and see a broken-down Ray Allen jogging around a half-empty TD Banknorth Center at age 34, you’ll think of me. I promise you.

They just spent the last two minutes discussing Durant and I didn’t even feel jealous of Jay Bilas’ orgasmic hyperbole because I was so rattled by the Allen trade. (Hands off, Jay — I have the No. 1 media man-crush on Durant.) To be clear, I’m a big Allen fan: He’s an excellent player; he always wanted to play in Boston (unlike everyone else in the league); I would have loved this trade if he were 28 or 29; and it’s hard to top the comedy of Ray Allen and Allan Ray playing for the same team.

Here’s the problem: His draft class was the year before I wrote my first draft diary. His movie (“He Got Game“) came out nearly a decade ago. He played at UConn with Donyell Marshall, Donny Marshall and Doron Sheffer. This guy is not a spring chicken — just look at his hairline, for cripes sake. This feels like Mitch Richmond going to the Bullets for C-Webb all over again. I’m somewhere between “quitting coffee and trying to make it through day three” rattled and “waiting for the results of an HIV test”-level rattled. And you know who’s going to suffer? You, the home reader. That’s who.

(Note: And just wait until John Hollinger comes out with his inevitable “Every quality two-guard in NBA history declined as a player after Year 12 except Reggie Miller” feature to torture me. You know it’s coming. Damn you, John Hollinger. Damn you.)

Marc Stein sends me an e-mail about the Allen trade that ends, “It could have turned out worse.” Great. That’s just the celebratory e-mail I was hoping for on draft night — “it could have turned out worse.”

I’d tell you more, but I’m busy trying to find the right adjective for my father on the phone right now. Beaten down? Distraught? Perplexed? Horrified? Apoplectic? All of them fit. He’s absolutely appalled by the Allen trade.”Shooting guards always lose their legs when they hit 32 or 33!” Dad yelps. “It happens to all of them. They can’t avoid it. Make sure you put in your column that we traded the fifth and seventh picks in consecutive years for a point guard who was too short and a shooting guard who was too old. Put that in your column. Put it in. I hate this trade.”

Dad calls again: “And by the way, I liked Delonte West. Put that in, too. Terrible. This is just terrible.”

Just had the following exchange with my buddy House:–House: “I’m driving home from softball, did your team make a trade?”
–Me: “Yeah, we traded the fifth pick, Wally and Delonte for Ray Allen.”
–House: “Noooooooo!” (Raucous laughter.)

Looks like Boston acquired the 35th pick in the Ray Allen trade as well. Hmmmmm. I’m feeling a little better about things. I was a 2 out of 10 two hours ago … now I’m a 3 out of 10, and I’ll be a 5 out of 10 if they take Big Baby with one of their second-rounders. As for my Dad? Let’s call him.

“I’m still a 0 out of 10,” he says.

With the second-rounder obtained from Seattle, my Dad and I were on the phone rooting for Big Baby … and when it happened, we both cheered and did the whole “I can’t believe we got him at 35!” routine. Sure, it was a minor victory, but when you’re a Celtics fan these days, you take what you can get.

Read Bill Simmons ‘Draft Diary XI‘

Read Bumpshack’s Running Live Draft Blog from last night.