The new film Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium starring Dustin Hoffman and Natalie Portman is getting panned by critics in almost every circle.

The characterization is every bit as cheap. Mr. Magorium, who is 243 years old (so are his jokes), is a cross between Willy Wonka and Geppetto, but Hoffman plays him with little more than a goofy dumb lisp, achieved by tucking his lower lip under his upper teeth, so that he looks just as rabbity-stoopid as he sounds.

I have to believe that Hoffman took this role chiefly for the sake of his young children to enjoy watching him on screen.