Everyone is talking about the new movie Twilight based on the best-selling book written by Stephenie Meyer with the same title. The book has been described as hypnotic, a dreamy prose that perfectly encapsulates the teenage feeling of sexual tension and alienation.

“Twilight” will probably be a huge disappointment to those expecting a horror film, a lot of good special effects, a kinky, sexual vampire picture or any combination of the above. More time during this movie is spent talking about going to the prom than drinking human blood. The climactic battle takes place in a ballet studio.

Yes, I read the book and from what I have seen I’m already a bit disappointed. I really don’t believe blaring teenagers have any familiarity with reading habits so they won’t notice the difference. I hope I’m wrong…

If the movie is a good as “Buffy, The Vampire Slayer” at its best, I think teenagers won’t be that disappointed with it. Vampires are very seductive creatures and even if it’s all fiction I still understand the buzz about this movie.

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“Twilight” focuses on a human girl named Bella who falls in love with Edward, a member of a group of teenage-looking vampires living in Washington state. Don’t worry, Pacific Northwesterners: These awkward-acting but benevolent vampires have trained themselves to drink animal blood.

The movie was filmed with a small budget, which may have been the best thing for the project. Catherine Hardwicke, director of the underrated “Lords of Dogtown,” has a knack for making her young actors seem unpolished and real, even when the events from the book and the dialogue are inherently ridiculous. This courtesy extends to the adults in the movie, who are rarely dumb, naive or mean. Bella’s town sheriff dad, Charlie (Billy Burke), is a pleasant cross between Harry Dean Stanton in “Pretty in Pink” and Andy Griffith.

Although this film will seem bloated to newcomers, and the plot kicks into gear slowly, “Twilight” never has the rushed or stilted feel of a 500-page book that’s been adapted into a two-hour film. Small things seem to be missing, but considering the number of characters introduced and themes that are explored, it’s a credit to Hardwicke and screenwriter Melissa Rosenberg that the movie remains coherent throughout.

The production also benefits from two good leads: Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson, as Bella and Edward. Pattinson in particular is convincing as a 100-year-old vampire stuck in a “Groundhog Day”-style existence that has him going to high school after high school, surrounded by a supermarket full of the young blood he craves but cannot eat.

The special effects are also borderline ridiculous - particularly when the vampires are either running super-fast (you’ll want to fill in your own “Six Million Dollar Man” sound effects) or exposed to the sun.

Which brings us to the sparkling, a phenomenon that causes light-stricken vampires to suddenly look as if they’ve had a horrible accident involving a glitter truck and an angry mob armed with Bedazzlers. What may have seemed cool in the book looks like a human disco ball onscreen.

“Twilight” has a few gory plot turns - mostly offscreen - and one near-sex scene that may offend a few Amish people, but the rest is maybe 33 percent less wholesome than “High School Musical.” It’s almost certainly less risque than what you were watching when you were 14.

On a final note if you are over 18 years old and you consider yourself an adult, please read this warning before getting into a theater to watch this movie:

This movie contains some violence and sensuality. This material also attracts packs of girls with extremely high-pitched voices, who will scream every time their favorite character comes onscreen. Bring earplugs, or sit at least six rows away from anyone female between the ages of 12 and 15.

Can’t wait to see Twilight!!! But more important I just can’t wait to start reading “New Moon“!!

Photos: ComingSoon