Actor Tom Cruise is desperately trying to promote his new movie “Valkyrie” set to bomb at the box office and it was time to make a fool of himself yet again at the Late Show With David Letterman.

Tom tries to make fun of himself accepting to read the “Top Ten Craziest Things People Say About Tom Cruise“. Although if it’s all supposed to be a joke, I think it’s plausible that he actually has done or got some ideas to work on off that list.

Top Craziest Things People Say About Tom Cruise on The Internet

10. I sleep upside-down suspended in a special bat-like harness.
9. During the filming of “Days of Thunder” on a dare I ate a tire.
8. I still wear those underpants from “Risky Business”
7. My real name is Tom Blagojevich
6. I once heimliched a koala. (Cruise needed help with ‘heimliched.’)
5. Once a month, I take the Universal studio tour naked.
4. I believe all emotional and psychological disorders can be cured with Vicks Vaporub.
3. I’m a power mad egomaniac who is completely insulated from reality. Oh wait, no that’s Letterman.
2. After jumping on her couch, Oprah hammer-locked me til I coughed blood.
1. I keep a cell phone in my pants so I can tell friends “Call my ass.”

I wanna believe #8 is actually true – that was back when Tom was still hot and sane before he joined Scientology!! He eventually admits #1 is the only thing he does… like he has friends!!

Aww moment of the interview happened when David Letterman shows a picture of the Cruise family celebrating Christmas and where Tom is playing Santa for Katie Holmes and baby Suri.

Tom reveals: “Katie actually made the outfit for me.”

Creepy and Scary! First, we don’t think Katie has the power to even dress herself so making a whole Santa outfit is out of the question. Second, that Santa cannot be Tom Cruise… he looks amazingly like the real Saint Nicholas straight from the North Pole!!

Watch Tom Cruise’s Top Ten On The Late Show With David Letterman below…