American Idol winner Fantasia Barrino speaks out for the first time since she was hospitalized from an overdose a couple of weeks ago in an exclusive interview for VH1’s “Behind the Music”, which will air on the day of her “Back To Me” album release Tuesday (August 24).

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The 26 year-old confessed that she knew exactly what she was doing when she took an overdose of aspirin and sleeping aid. She was in too much pain, emotional pain, so she decided it put an end to it. Fantasia just wanted to die.

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“I didn’t have any fight in me. I didn’t care about anything. I just wanted out,” Fantasia said. “At that moment, I wanted out. I wanted it to be over with – all of it, all of that [expletive].”

She continues: “I just sat in the closet and looked at the mirror and took all the pills in the bottle. I wanted to go to sleep and just be at peace. I knew exactly what I was doing. You can’t accidentally take a whole bottle of pills.”

“I was tired of people doing me wrong, constantly, over and over again, dealing with my family – my father, dealing with men and their [expletive] – I was tired,” she says. “My head was hurting me. I was over it.”

Fantasia decided to take her own life after reading the court documents of Antwaun Cook and his estranged wife Paula Cook‘s divorce and realized that she had been betrayed. The guy had lied to her and the wife was actually suing her for ruining their “happy” marriage.

“When I met him, he was separated … wasn’t living in his home. He didn’t want to be back with his wife – that is what I was told,” Barrino says. “I remember waking up in the hospital [and thinking], ‘It didn’t work, I’m still here in this hellhole. Still here with all this drama going on.’ ”

Ultimately, the singer says the saving grace was her nurse. “My nurse Melanie was a blessing into my life because she didn’t tell me what I wanted to hear,” she says. “She told me what I needed to hear. And she looked at me and said, ‘You gotta get up, and you’ve gotta get out of here, ’cause you haven’t fulfilled your destiny.’ ”

“I realized how people end up in the grave. Because that one moment [snaps her fingers] of just breaking or feeling like I can’t, I can’t go on, it’s too heavy. That was somewhere I don’t ever want to go again.”

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Fantasia still has a long way to go to fully recover, but she has a new album out and is currently totally focused on making it a huge success. Fantasia is ready for a comeback. We wish her the best and hope she doesn’t fall in love for the wrong type of men again in the future.

[image: Flashpoint/wenn.com]