They’re tan.  They’re fit.  They’re shallow.  They’re actually better looking than the originals…  They’re the cast of MTV UK’s Jersey Shore spin-off, Geordie Shore.

In keeping with their theme of providing only the highest quality programming for their viewership, MTV is set to premiere the British version of the fist-pumping reality hit on May 24^th on MTV UK.

Oh. My. Lanta.

Can the world really take another set of GTL-ing Guidos and Guidettes?  And wait.  Aren’t Guidos Italian?  Something about a “Family Dinner” of weak tea and fish ‘n’ chips, just doesn’t sound right.

The recently released Geordie Shore trailer introduces Jay, Holly, Sophie, James, Vicky, Greg, Charlotte “Loopy” Letitia, and Gary – and each one is tan-er and sluttier than the next.  Their words, not mine:

Charlotte “Loopy” Letitia proudly announces via the MTV UK website that her “[favourite] party trick is balancing super noodles from each nipple.”

Going on to over-share that,

‘Girls call me a slut, ex-boyfriends call me a psycho and my Mum calls me an idiot.’

Hey Loopy? Your mum’s right.