Former Real Housewives of D.C. star, Michaele Salahi, performed her breakout single “Bump it” on NBC Miami this week and it was, well, exactly what you would expect.

Sahlahi chose the Sunshine State for her song’s inaugural performance because,

I grew up in Florida and I have a great passion for Florida… I wanted to come here, it’s a happy place.

Such profound words…

Michaele’s lifeless performance included four scantily-clad background dancers, a hired gun rap artist and a ridiculously dressed Sahlahi prancing around stage in a bathing suit-type getup with tassels.

Totally amazing and yet so totally gag-worthy.

[Image: Anthony Dixon/WENN]