Bumpshack first reported that psuedo-Real Housewife of New Jersey Kim G. and Michael Lohan were dating back in April, but apparently things have taken a turn for the uber-serious.

Gag me.

According to reports, Kim G. and her man are quite smitten with each other (and keeping their faces in the public eye, but that’s whole separate can of reality TV worms.) and are willing to gush about their romance to anyone who will listen.

He Is always so willing to help out. He is very outgoing and nice and kind to everyone. He likes to get up before me and makes breakfast or goes out and gets it. I have never had anyone wait on me like that.

Alright, I suppose that sounds normal enough.  Maybe they really have found true love!

…We met in January filming a pilot for a show. We always kept in contact and then he invited me to Florida prior to visiting him on the set of Celebrity Rehab…

Nevermind.

Kim went on to over-share that:

As far as a lover, I don’t want to comment other than he is very affectionate.

Um, nobody asked you how he was as a “lover” Kim, and don’t use that word, it’s revolting.

If this disgusting union somehow results in marriage, as my gift, I will be sending vouchers for a lifetime’s worth of therapy for each of their children.  Except Lindsay, she’s on her own.